Polaris
April 29 2025
on the way while falling down
I feel betrayed I wasn't pure
I bloomed unseen and just as soon
bowed my head into the ground
on the way while falling down
I tried to keep it from the light
on the way while falling down
I can blame those upper bounds
the cruelty or ugly frowns
a reckoning I didn’t see
just hanging thoughts for when I’m gone
since I will fade before that long
I tried to keep it from the light
its exposure
that burning blight
of a gallery of faces in motion
with so many questions
demanding answers and certainties
absolutes and purity
spoiling with explanation
I tried to keep it in the dark
where I'll live on as but a dream
where I could be flawed
and leave the shadows just the same
where all our folly did belong
I refused to burn
but I would always take a piece of you with me
forever a point of guidance in my mind
but because I wavered with indecision
time consumed it all
I never rendered clarity onto my confusion
our testament was reclaimed by light
bleached away
betrayed by time or god
but I think I’d have done the same
then you will rise like nothing changed
because I know the answer was flawed
and you will lie because you're wrong.
Always
Feb 20 2025
My gait becomes weightless
Again, I lapse
I walk, and I walk
until I have permission to
collapse
All these faces
which offer me nothing
Everything slow, dull, listless
I can't take this
existence without witness
I dressed for the part
And for who?
And for what?
Never for me.
Before I know it, I am swallowed again by the noise
I bow my head; everything slows
I resolve again to appear whole.
And for who?
I put my best, most thoughtless face forward
Nod and agree even though I do not hear
Looking without seeing
I try to be without being.
And for what?
These reels of life just a sum of gaps
All the worthless, solitary times stitched together
Unseen, unknown, unaccounted for
This numbness disquieting and familiar
I left myself long ago
by following the whims of my polluted soul.
Always for me.
And until something can make me whole
I think
I will
let go.
Sprockets – Feb 13 2025
Peels and shards of plastic and glass
A testament to my error
Beached
Raw and fresh
Cold, wet
My last mistake
My ear on the shore
I hear the world
Machines are dodging me
I'm welcomed by the ground
A child again
Lying in the roaring sound
No resolve to pretend
I had the urge to pour it out
I felt the weight of this world which never felt enough
I confessed,
I lied, I fornicated, I hurt, I wasted
The truth no longer choked
I felt real, I could finally taste it
It’s all bloody, it’s all contaminated
And everything is whole
Not two or three or four
Dying as one
I was dumb, I was young
I wanted so much more
Every piece a witness now
I was me the whole time
I woke up on this ground
I know I tried to rebel
Against these odious limits
I wanted that for myself
Only wrong when I did it.
Peels and shards of plastic and glass
A testament to my error
It’s happening fast
Lying in the roaring sound
I lied, I fornicated
I lived, I loved
Every piece a witness now
It’s happening fast
I drift off on this ground
My confession unheard
He's not around
It’s happening fast
In apathy’s grasp.
The Bandwidth of Choice – Jan 23 2025
The gulf of secrets grows
My chest beats like a drum
I can’t reconcile it
within the greater narrative
I don’t have the bandwidth
to be two places at once
With every act I grow stranger,
more fractured
to escape the will of nature
to test the bandwidth of choice
to stress these chains
Is this world just a square plot?
If I walk in a straight line will it end?
If I keep tearing myself apart
will it make sense?
The TRUE History of The Fall of Humanity (According to Clay Robots) – April 28 2024
Autobahn Schiene, founded in 1937 was a German engineering company that got its start by manufacturing train tracks.
By 2037, they became Autobahn Robots, a global leader. It was they who gave birth to the first Clay Robots.
Humanity fell on some hard times.
As the human population fell, Clay Robots were relieved of their duties. They had won their freedom through hard work.
Knowing only how to help, Clay Robots tried desperately to save their masters from oblivion. But they would not listen.
You see, humanity did not die in a single, fiery end.
Mankind instead was lulled to sleep. Individuals believed they had no power, but really they did.
At last, human culture at large devolved into a doomsday cult. Robots mourned as their creators succumbed to despair.
Clay Robots relocated to Mesopotamia, the cradle of civilization and sought to replicate what once was and keep the spirit of humanity alive. They rescued important historical artifacts and kept alive the English language.
Clay Robots kept the world, industry, the factories, the cities, running just as they were like nothing had changed.